The Choice: Stay at Home Mom (Guest Post)

Today's guest post comes from a friend of mine, Branson. We were friends in high school but became even closer when we were pregnant together-she had her son a few weeks before I had Quinn. Here she is going to share how she made the choice to be a stay-at-home-mom and tomorrow I'll share my decision. Enjoy!



When Jackie asked me to write a post about my decision to become a stay-at-home mom, I thought it would be an easy post. I feel like this is what I was meant to do, and can't imagine things any other way. But then I sat down to really think about it, and I remember that it hasn't always been this way. It is easy to see things as simple now that I have been at this gig for over a year, but the truth is that the decision to take that leap of faith into one income is one that was not made lightly. In fact, I remember writing a new blog post every week announcing my decision to stay home... then go back... then stay home... then go back. Anyone who remembers that period probably laughs at me saying now that I knew it was the right choice. But I did... eventually.

Having a baby is something that my husband and I had all but given up on. When I got pregnant, I had just started a brand new job that I was super excited about. I had big goals, and big dreams, and at that point there was no doubt in my mind that none of that was going to change. I told anyone who would listen how I planned to work until I went into labor, and then keep my maternity leave to a minimum. I was incredibly excited to be having a child, but didn't think of myself as a "baby person" and thought I could see myself being a working mom for sure.

Fast forward to my second trimester. I was miserably sick far past when everyone had told me I would start to feel better. Work was nearly impossible, with having to run to the bathroom over and over. Then I was diagnosed with mild gestational diabetes, and my blood pressure started to get out of control. At that point I was placed on modified bedrest, and took a leave of absence from work. I was still convinced I would go back, though, and I did. I started feeling better, and returned to work after about a month. I loved my job as much as ever, and wanted to keep my goals of advancement on the "fast track". I definitely did not get to work until I went into labor. Instead I ended up going back on leave so that I could keep up with by-weekly monitoring of the baby and my bed rest. When they decided to induce me 3 weeks early, and then I ended up having a c-section, it seemed like my plan was starting to slip away. 

We had made all the arrangements for me to go back to work. We had moved Matt's brother in with us to care for Aiden while we were at work. We had my Mom ready to jump in if needed. What we had not counted on is what motherhood would really be like for me. In spite of some struggles with depression, I was head over heels in love with my little boy. As it turned out, I was indeed a baby person after all. I felt complete when he was with me, and everything about this perfect, tiny person was amazing. So, on that first day back to work I felt like my heart was breaking. Everyone told me it was normal... that it would be okay. Then the first day of heartbreak turned into weeks of uncontrollable sobbing every time I got in the car. It wasn't getting any better. 

They gave me another leave of absence, for more bonding time. Then they gave me a part time schedule. That job gave me everything I asked to try to keep me. However, in the end the only thing I really wanted was to be home with my son. I had waited so many years to become a mother. I felt like I had finally been given this gift that had once seemed like just a fantasy... and I wanted to fully receive it. So, here I am. I am now  content being "just a mom". Sometimes I miss working, often I miss adult interaction, and yes I still dream about having a career someday. I know that work will always be there, though. What won't last are these precious days of babyhood. 

I am now more interested in soaking up every moment with my son. I am excited about the fact that he is growing and learning and I don't have to hear about it from anyone else. We have had to make sacrafices. Living on one income is not easy. We don't get to travel as much as we would like, we only have one vehicle, we buy our clothes and toys at consignment stores instead of the malls, and there are times when we wonder where the money for unexpected expenses will come from. But you know what? We are also learning more and more to trust that God will provide... and he always does. That was never more apparent than when my husband recently lost his job. Going from a one-income family to a no-income family was scary, but we were blessed with incredible support and a quick resolution.

There is no one choice that will fit every lifestyle, or every family. I can only do what is best for my own family, and I feel incredibly blessed to be able to make that choice and follow through without regrets. Having the faith to take that leap, and the courage to follow my dream of being a stay-at-home mama, is exactly the kind of example I want to set for my son. I want to see him follow his dreams, and know that no matter what they are, they are worth fighting for.

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Branson is the wife of a super-tall guy with a huge heart, a mama to one very sweet little mop-top boy, and an aunt to many. That's her day job! Sheis  a child of God, and a stubborn one at that, who is constantly re-learning the amazing promises that my Heavenly Father has laid out for her. She is a photography enthusiast, who loves capturing the beauty of creation with her camera. You can find her blogging about motherhood, faith, photography, and more over at My Reflection of Something. She also runs the weekly Edit Me Challenge and can be found tweeting up a storm.