First days of classes

This semester I am teaching different classes: One section of STA 205 - general education class but also an intro level stat class for a lot of majors like nursing, psychology, and criminal justice. I've taught this class a lot so I'm not really concerned about the content and the first day of class went really well - lots of students were really thinking about what I said and answered question thoughtfully. This is my only female-dominated class (I believe about 80% female - 30 girls, 6 guys give or take one)

I have two sections of my new prep for the fall - STA 213 - second course in statistics aimed at business majors. I have about 60 students in these two sections and have about 15 familar faces, which is nice. Only had one 50 minute class period with them so far, so hard to tell how it will go. I will be expecting more of them, and should be!! (These classes are about 75% male)

I have one section of STA 250 - which is the introductory stat class but is calculus based - so aimed at mathematics, statistics, and computer science majors primarily. Students asked a few questions the first day and I have already had one of these students come by my office and asking questions on the suggested problems! I always think once probability/counting rules are done, this class is down hill from there! It's exciting that we had to open a second section of this class (someone else teaches it at the same time I do) as we have over 50 students in this class. Hopefully we can recruit some stat majors (as it is brand new this year) from this group! (This class is about 70% male)

My first week of classes happened to coincide with B having to go in an hour early all week and he has yet to get off an hour early. Luckily, we haven't been grumpy toward each other this week (yet?) but we're both pretty worn out.

I'm always much happier after this first week - generally my classes are stable at this point (no more suddenly new students and no more checking to see if they have the prerequisites for the class) and everyone knows where they are going. Nothing quite like students parking in our lots and a couple officers directing traffic in the round-a-bout (isn't its point to not have to have someone directing traffic? maybe it's just me :) )

I always dress up for teaching for at least the first week - need to separate myself somehow! Though I have been beginning to notice that I have way too many lower cut shirts - maybe I've noticed this more now that I'm in a lot of male dominated classes? Coincidence? Maybe they'll at least pay attention! Hah!

The Summer Ends....

I can't believe how quickly this summer has went by. I really enjoyed getting to spend a lot of time with my family in Nebraska and the cooler weather that we have been having in Kentucky lately.

O has been doing really well with his potty training. This week was the first week that we tried big boy underwear all of the time during the day, and he went all week at daycare without wetting at all! He had a couple of accidents at home, but I have been shocked that he has been doing so well. Once he gets a bigger boy bed, then we may see how things go with whether or not we'll try big boy underwear at night. I know that will probably take longer. I can't believe that he is going to be three in less than a month!!

I had my follow-up appointment after my D&C yesterday. When I got there, I was a little upset as they didn't have me on their schedule - are you kidding me? but they managed to squeeze me in a half hour later. I had really been doing pretty good until I got to the office. Seeing all of these rather pregnant women was getting to me a little bit, but the nurse that called my name was the one that was there when I found out the baby had no heartbeat and she asked me how I was doing - that was the first time I had cried about this (except in B's presence) in about a week. My blood pressure was a little high for me (120/78) and I had lost 8 lbs in the last two weeks (which was ok'd by the doctor - she knew I was trying to lose some weight too). Appears I should be ok to try again when we're ready - so that is good news.

Can't believe that classes start on Monday! Looking forward to it some - I went into this profession for the teaching so I'm ready to get back to it. I have my reappointment materials due in mid-September though (for the following year). It is so hard to "sell myself" to people that don't me that well. I really don't like bragging on myself too so that makes this hard - all self promotion. "look at how good I am at this" and "look at how much my students like me"... not fun!

Enjoying my last homework grading - , class planning - , test preparing - free weekend. It will be Christmas before I know it!

Coping and Moving On

Considering what I have gone through in the past week or so, I think I am doing relatively well. I can't help but wonder "why me" and this is what I am having the hardest time dealing with. I know that so many women go through what I am going through and all, I'm not special in that by any means. How many women have to go through all the complications with one birth that barely enabled me to have a chance of conceiving again and then take the first child that I conceive after that point? Now, I'm sure that some of you are thinking "atleast you already have one child" are wondering what I am so whiney about. I have always wanted two kids, that's it. I don't want O to be an only child and at this point in my life, I'm ready for the second one. How many couples out their get divorced? should they never be able to get married again since they already had one spouse? I think not! Ah, rant over.

Ironically in this month's parents magazine that I received the day after my D&C, there is an article on "second time infertility" - is this supposed to be some kind of sign to me?

I have my follow-up appointment next Friday to make sure that everything is healing as it should be. The doctor seems to think that we can start trying again as soon as we want - phycially maybe, emotionally may take some more time for us.

I've been really trying to get back into my routine as the beginning of the semester is quickly approaching and I really should be "over it" soon. (At least as it is seen by most people - i.e. no more breaking down and crying in front of non-family about it). Getting back to work is nice, but I will be even better once I can start working out again - need to lose some more of this darn tummy of mine! So you all better watch out - a smokin' hot mama will be coming your way soon!!

A tough week

This past week has probably been the worst week of my life. I had my first prenatal appointment. Now I am one that doesn't believe I am pregnant until I get to either see and/or hear my baby. The doctor and I were discussing who would deliver the baby since she is moving in September, and what day we would have it on (March 1) since I would get to have a scheduled c-section. They then do an ultrasound to see how many babies are in there and to listen to the heartbeat. Good news - only 1 baby. Seeing it just made my heart melt. But I could tell something was wrong with the way the doctor was searching for something. I asked what was wrong and she said she couldn't locate a heartbeat - my heart just sunk and I was in denial.

She wanted me to go to the hospital to get a second opinion with higher level ultrasound technology. Three hours later, the worst was confirmed - the baby was dead.

Then we had to decide what we were going to do - I had no signs of a miscarriage. I could either wait to see if nature ran its course or have a D & C performed to remove the fetus. After discussion a lot with my family, especially my Aunt Robyn who is a nurse, I was advised to go ahead with the D & C so that I would be under a controlled environment.

I went in yesterday and had the surgery performed. Although I was totally out for the procedure, the idea of my baby being taken out of me is very hard to deal with. Shouldn't have too long of a physical recovery, don't know if I will ever fully recover emotionally.