It happens all the time...

I believe that one of the hardest things about many circumstances is that they have become so "routine" we don't think about the individual anymore. As a professor, I have students who have been tested to receive special accomodations that I abide by. I try to be understanding if certain circumstances arise (as long as I can get some form of documentation). The individual should still get attention!

As I'm getting closer to having this baby and knowing that my c-section date is getting closer, I can't help but worry. Multiple doctors have looked at my records/medical history and don't seem too concerned. But is this because it has become so routine to them? I need to discuss my concerns and fears with them.

I still don't have a "full" understanding of what happened during O's birth, but from my understanding, I went from real concern (will I make it) to possibly needing a hysterectomy, to a slow but full recovery. The doctors here have made me feel that what happened was attributed to a couple of extra things that won't be happening this time - big baby and being induced for such a long time.

I can't help but have this slight fear of, I'll say it, dying. I don't want to leave my children without a mother and my husband without a wife. I don't know how/if they would make it. The idea of needing a hysterectomy this time does not strike fear in me as if I have two children and get to be with them, that is enough.

Boils down to that I need to discuss this with my doctors and my family. I need them to know my fears so that they can be there for me. I have such a great family, I just don't want to be a squeaky wheel!