Reflection - Balance

I think every now and then we need to be reminded that the human memory is not always accurate.  Most of us think that we remember how things worked out perfectly - yet, our perception helps to form that memory.

In church this week, the pastor had three main points that led him (and us) through his lesson (sermon).

• We romance the past - When he spoke about this he emphasized that we have a tendency to remember the good as part of our memories.  We have a tendency to block out the "bad" or, in reality, the things we don't want to remember.  Being a Mom we do this all the time about our kids, remembering the day the child was born as well as forgetting most of the minor accidents, etc.  However, with as nice as it can be to block things out, we have to remember that humans are not perfect.  We may have fights with the ones we love most, but we have a tendency to focus on all the things that were perfect - "_____ was my best friend.  She was so great.  Now that she has moved, I'll never have anyone like her."  Yet, was there ever a time I was angry at them or they were angry at me?
  
  However, I don't think that this just applies to the "good."  When we don't like someone or the situation that we were in, we seem to only remember the bad.  This is where I think there are some problems.  It is bad enough when this applies to a situation (ever remember having an awful day where everything went wrong?  I bet on this day there was something good that happened, but we don't remember it!), but it can become a real issue when it applies to relationships.  We constantly here "experts" say that the past should be addressed, forgiven, and "forgotten."  We shouldn't bring up what has happened in the past all the time within our relationships.  However, how many of us are guilty of doing just this?  I know I have been.
• Which jeopardizes the future - hopefully we can all see how this can jeopardize our future - especially when it comes to our relationships.  If we can't move past the rock or the fork, whatever you want to call it, how can you move into the future?  Let alone, how can we live a fulfilling life by holding on to all the negativity?  Even as I write this, it seems like no matter what we have a problem - we don't want to "cover-up" the bad (only remember the good and "idolizing" someone/something), but we don't want to dwell on it either.  How do we find the balance?  I guess negativity is the elephant in the room - address it and move on!
• By trivializing the now - by having our focus on either just the good or the bad, we miss out on the present.  First off, we have a tendency to remember the "big" things, but maybe not the small.  For example, I remember being "saved" when I was in the hospital going through some pretty serious surgery complications.  But do I remember the little things, or even notice them.  How do we know that the day that our alarm didn't go off in the morning didn't prevent us from being in a car accident had we left at our definition of the "right" time?  Do we miss opportunities that are being presented to us because our current focus is not allowing us to see them?

So this was a synopsis of the sermon I heard.  I think for me it boils down to live in the present reality - try not to focus on just what is "perfect" or what is "horrible" in my life.  I need to learn to be content.  I don't want to miss out on opportunities because of the frustration in life, I don't want to miss out on challenges (which are also opportunities) because I'm just focusing on the positive.  I can try to do this for myself, but I can't force anyone to do it with/for me.  Yet I do believe that we all need balance in our lives and we need to trust the path that He is putting in front of us.