Project 31 - Day #6

Has the world's definition of beauty ever jaded you?


Now there's a question that is opening a large can of worms.  I honestly can't remember back to the time when it didn't.  Going back to the first time I really remember, I have always been overweight (sometimes more than others), or at least I thought so.  Maybe part of it was that the majority of my friends in middle and high school were so skinny, I just really felt overweight.  Now looking back at how I looked in high school - I think I looked healthy and only wish I was that size now!
 
Very few times did I ever really feel beautiful in high school - with boys, I always seemed to be in the "friends zone" and I definitely wasn't as confident of a person as I am today.  I'd read magazines telling me what guys were looking for (look wise) and knew I could never look that way.  How many women are at least 5' 9", weigh less than 120lbs and have stick straight her?  That is what I thought I was supposed to look like - that was beautiful and the totaly opposite of my 5' 4" then 140ish lbs with wavy/curly hair.  Only one of the boys I dated in high school ever actually made me feel beautiful as I was, most others made me feel like I should change to what they wanted.  (Man, I'm glad I never did!)
 
In college, things felt about the same for me - again, no boys really seemed to want to go out with me.  So, I felt pretty ugly.  What was so wrong with me?  However, in college, it was finally "cool" to be smart and I began to get my confidence through my knowledge and then realized that confidence is what really makes someone beautiful - the willingness to be proud of who you are and how you look.  Then I met my to-be husband.
 
To date, let's just say my height and hair haven't changed all that much, but my weight is still larger than I want it to be.  However, with all that even said, at this point in my life I am getting more compliments about how "beautiful" I am than I ever have.  But today, I am also a confident woman in who I am and how I look.  Will I ever be that 120lbs I talked about?  Probably not, but I will remain positive that I can get even more confident in how I look and hopefully lose a few more lbs!